Sensory Biographies: Lives and Deaths Among Nepal's Yolmo Buddhists by Robert Desjarlais

Author:Robert Desjarlais
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 0520235878
Publisher: University of California Press
Published: 2003-03-03T00:00:00+00:00

One was your father's [and Rinjin Lama's] mother. Then along with her was my mother-in-law [Wangel Lama's mother]. She [the woman who left] was my cousin. Then, she left me everything.

While identifying who was who, Kisang also noted how she was related to this cousin of hers, who may in fact have had less true agency in the matter than her two mothers-in-law. But since Kisang was in fact distantly related to this woman, the question arose then as to whether it was legal for her to marry the same man that her cousin had just left. A trip to the district center of Nuwakot was therefore necessary.

Then, because she was my cousin, they went to Nuwakot to inquire about the marriage. Then Nuwakotgave the permission. "You can marry." They said that we could not have married if we were mother and daughter in relation.

Since the two women were only cousins, however, the marriage could proceed. The final, written words, which came from the government court itself, legitimated her place in her new husband's household and ruled out any effective return by the woman who had left it.

My two mothers went there, my mother-in-law, and your grandmother [Rinjin Lama's mother]. In this way, I needed to look after each temple. On this side and on that side.

The upshot was that she then needed to manage two households and temples, one set in Ne Nyemba, the other in Shomkharka. Such were the binding effects of local voicings.

Before, my husband said to his brother, "Take care of my children after I die. I have given the money, everything, to your sister-in-law. She will buy everything for the children" From then on I was bound to look after the temple on this side as well as the one on that side. In this roundabout way, here and there, they put the responsibility on my head.

A roundabout but binding course of action led to a life lived here and there, a narrative aesthetics of zigzag, and a heavy burden. "She then had two temples to look after," her son told us once. "She had two responsibilities, like a person who has to carry two loads.'

After she [Rinjin Lama's first wife] left Ne Nyemba she had one more son. She didn't die easily. She died by the stinging nettles. She treated me with contempt. I heard this, and it's true. If she hadn't talked, it wouldn't have happened. Thoughts about your uncle would not have come.

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